Feeling a Bit Lost.

Still no big kid job. And I must admit I'm very tired of it. I feel like maybe I'm not doing enough to find one, not sending out enough resumes, not looking in the right places or maybe it's as simple as that my resume title on monster isn't catchy or clever enough, but whatever it is I wish someone would tell me. I know that I'm capable of doing a good, consistent, hard job with great results, yet I feel like I'm the only one that sees that. Instead I'm here and let me tell you, it will be the death of me if I can't get out of here. I'm underpaid, overworked, and not appreciated at all. Part of me says that I should put on my flip-flop, flip-flop my way over to my boss and quit, go home and spend the rest of the day dedicated to sending in applications to real jobs, to jobs that might challenge me in a way other than whether or not I'll go postal today. But I can't do that because while it's shitty money to be here, it's still money and it's money that I will need in the future. I still haven't opened up the savings account with ING like I should have, because I keep forgetting to find my routing number. You know what I need, I need a little notepad to follow me around and make sure I have everything taken care of, when I forget something to have a extenable foot that reaches out and kicks me in the ass... because obviously these non-kicking ass notepads just aren't doing the trick.

In good news, in about a month I. and I will be headed off for London. Yep that's right London, home away from home. I think that I'm far more excited about it than I'm letting myself feel because if I feel it than I really won't pay attention to anything else. Also it's been so long since I was there that I feel like it can't possibly be happening. But nonetheless, we're going. I think the first weekend we're going to go to Scotland because well I've never been there and who better to go with than someone who lived there for four years. I'm so excited about this. I've always wanted to see Scotland. I think the other thing about the trip that I'm not admitting to myself is that I'm really nervous about it. Right in the middle of the trip I will be going to St. Albans, a little north of London, to present at a conference for the international psychology society. I will be meeting people who are experts in their fields, who are from all over the world, and who has made huge discoveries in the field of psychology. Dr. Zellner and I will be published in their Psychology Journal. Me! Published at 22! It's crazy and yet still I can't find a big kid job. I think I'm becoming truly american.. my self-worth is starting to feel dependent on my occupation and as long as I'm working here and not somewhere with a steady paycheck and benefits I feel like crap. So bring on the 9-5, cause at least it will be 8 hours a day of knowing I have a future and am not going to end up a bag lady in NYC.