Don't Call Me Guido!

Last night I felt oppressed by a straight man. It was the first time in a very long time that this had happened to me. And the worst part about it? I knew it wasn't him doing the oppressing, but me. I saw his macho attitude and his trophy wife and started to feel very different. So what did I do... I listened to him talk and I felt better.

While Guido 1 and Guido 2 talk to each other I realize that while they both may be very intelligent, well behaved people, their accent successfully makes them sound.. well Guido-ish (macho, dumb, and vain). This is a Bon Jovi concert and it's me who in the end feels out of place. Not that Guido would feel out of place anywhere, cause I'm not sure yet whether he's even aware there are other people in the world. There is still something so unsettling to be a in a room (or for heaven's sake an arena) that is 65%-75% men, and not gay men, but men men. The kind that scratches their balls and puts their arm over their trophy to show to the other men men.

A friend said to me today, (in regards to my recent relationship behavior), "You just have to come to terms with the fact that you're a dude." I will never be a dude, to the extent that these guys are dudes. I think that's what gets me, while I definitely do not want to be a man, there is something about being that "strong" and believing so strongly that you were put here to be a blessing unto everyone, that makes for a very powerful existence. I think a lot of us are really annoyed by that attitude of "I'm god's great gift to women, look at this hair, look at this muscle, look at my car, and look at this hair!", yet at the same time I have to admit that sometimes being that confident is an attractive idea. It does seem to me that they get to do what they want, when they want, more often than most of us. Maybe if we took that kind of attitude more often, the "we are god's great gift to women, look at my pick-up, look at my style, look at my charm" maybe more people would stop questioning our being here, because we would stop questioning ourselves.