Sex, is it really that hard to get over?

Billy Crystal once said that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way. That in the end men always want to have sex with women, even if the women is unattractive because the sex part is already out there and therefore the friendship is doomed. So what makes this statement different if it's two gay women, or two gay men? Why is that to the best of my knowledge and in my experience gay women and gay men usually are friends with mostly gay women or gay men, respectively? Do we not operate the same way as a man, or is it just that we constantly ignore that at least half of the friendship wants to bang the other half?

Personally, I know that there are quite a few of my friends that I find attractive and if I were single and they were single, I might this whole banging them idea a proper go, but because of circumstances they will never be more to me a friend, and of course the attractive friend that makes me look good when we go out. At the same time, lots of my friends (and I) have either hooked-up with each other or had relationships that didn't work out, and now are just good friends. How do we do that? I'm amazed by that. Even just now thinking about it, I remember conversations that I have been a part of where we compared notes about who in the room we had hooked up with, and by determining who had hooked up with more people in the room, who was the bigger slut. Straight men and women generally don't do that sort of thing, they see as if not impossible, uncomfortable. I'd also like to know about gay men. I'm not a gay man and I don't have many gay men friends, but do they screw around with their friends and then maintain these close friendships?

If this is a perk of being a gay woman I'll gladly take it, somehow we have worked out a way to not only get close to other gay women without the need for sex to be a part of it, but if sex were to become a part of it? We've found a way to either, 1) make it into a relationship that works because it was built on a friendship, 2) have a couple week fling, realize it's not going to work, and be able to laugh about it with everyone else later, or 3) have sex once and wake up the next morning not able to look at each other, but somewhere down the line go out for coffee and realize there is a friendship to be salvaged. And to those that let sex (not feelings, but sex) ruin a friendship, maybe you're straight after all.

Halloween, my favoritest holiday

So Halloween has come and gone. I really love that holiday. I know a lot of people who don't, but there was something always really exciting about being able to dress however I wanted and not have to hear it from anybody. No little kids asking if I were a boy or a girl, no parents looking down their noses because I don't like to wear capri's or tight jeans. I remember when I was little, my younger brother and I would dress up in the exact same costume. If we were dracula, we both had the same cape, same tuxedo, and same mask. If we were pirates, we both had the same sword, the same pants (made to look like a skirt), and the same shirt with a vest design. I just thought it was soooo cool that he and I could be the same thing and no one would question why he was dressed like me (a girl) and I was dressed like him (a boy). It was just cute and endearing.

Sometimes it even occurs to me that no one really understands that it has nothing to do with my desire to portray something that I am not, but that I really just never found girl clothing comfortable, or hair clips attractive. Yet still when my mom would get upset enough to say something, it always ended up being, "why do you want to be a man so badly?" Are you joking? I don't even find myself attracted to men, why would I want to be one?? Nothing against men, but I can't imagine being one and I definitely don't have any desire to change who I am.

So my mom finally got used to the idea that her daughter was going to wear pants that didn't suffocate her skin, or shirts that the only part that contained a "V" was the "v" in whatever word was written across her chest and I finally got used to the idea that as long as my hair was short and my clothes weren't "girly" that I would constantly be called "Sir" or have little children ask if I were a boy or a girl. This was just going to be a fact of life and I learned to be okay with it.

Yet at the same time that I spend 364 days of the year being okay with the idea of being mistaken for a man or even better a prepubescent boy, it is really nice to be able to get dressed up like a man or a woman and have no one look at me twice. I don't get the weird looks from small minded rednecks at the convenience store who aren't sure what to make of me, I don't get the "oooo you look so girly" jabs from fellow lesbians (if on a normal day I would decide to girl it up for once), everything is just accepted for what it is, my outfit for the day. Not a change of personality, not a change of being, not a factious life I've decided to live because I can't deal with the hand I've been dealt, but a full 24 hours of being just one of the crowd and maybe even being one of the normal looking people.

And if you were wondering what I dressed up as for Halloween, it was Eddie Knox from Guitar Hero 2:
What were you?