A Christmas Story
So everyone knows that Christmas is a stressful time and my goodness, this year is really vying for the "MOST stressful Christmas EVER" award. Tomorrow I have a meeting with former employers who want to offer me a job that would have been my boss' job at the time of my employment with them. I'm extremely lucky to have a job either way, whether or not I take the new position, but it's still stressful, I hate interviews/meetings, I always have. I don't know what to say or how to go after those things that I want. These are one of those times that I wish I had the aggression of a straight man. They see the woman they want in a club/bar and boom! they walk up and offer them a drink. If they are turned down, either they persist or move on to their next target. That kind of "this is what I want" forwardness doesn't happen for me. Not in bars/clubs or interviews.
Right now, I have a friend (straight man) who's coaching my demand-skills. Number 1) Act like you're just going in to have a conversation. They are not better than you, they want you, not the other way around. Number 2) Don't be afraid to ask for more than you want, or you think you will get, worse that can happen is they say no and offer what they are willing to give, it still might be higher than what you would have accepted. Excellent so now that I'm armed with these two pieces of advice I'm still shaking in my boots... or in my case my really cute sneakers.
To add to my stress level, Christmas is two weeks away and I haven't bought one present. I have three things I need to pay for in the coming month, 1) rent for january, 2) London (the 27th to the 6th), and 3) Christmas. Now I know that I'm not poor, but I'm not rich either. So everyone's getting arts and crafts for their gifts. It's the thought that counts right?
And probably a stress inducer that I'm not really allowing myself to think about is that my brother gets home from infantry school on the 20th and on the 3rd will be flown to Hawaii to his first duty station, where he will be for the next few years (if he isn't sent to Iraq). Basically I think that Christmas will be the last time I see him before he goes to Hawaii and then Iraq.
In the end, the point is that when I stress out I take it out on everyone else and really hate when people try to help. Mostly when my girlfriend tries to help. Do straight couples have this problem? Not the stressed out, take it out on each other problem, but the "you make more money than I do and that really bothers me" problem. This may feel like it came out of left field and knowing me it probably did, but I really think they are all tied in together: money stresses me out, not having money stresses me out more, not having money when things need to be paid really stresses me out, and then add Christmas! Forget about it, it's over.
Back to the issue at hand: My girlfriend makes more money than I do, and most of the time it doesn't bother me, but when a lot of expenses are coming in and I'm having a hard time keeping my head above water, its really hard for me to watch her direct her yacht. And worse even is when she invites me onto it! I end up feeling like I owe her, like she is the reason I'm making it, and that without her I would have drowned. I am a very independent person, and a very strong willed person. I don't like to depend on my girlfriend for anything, especially not money. But I watch straight couples and it seems that it's almost expected. If you are the boyfriend, you will pay for things, and if you are the girlfriend, you will like it. I completely understand and if the couple is happy with that arrangement than more power to them, but if it were me.... I would feel like something was being taken away from me, because I was not contributing half to expenses. How do straight girls do it? How do they feel ok letting someone else take care of them financially and emotionally? I think it's fantastic and if any straight girl is reading this and wants to teach me how, please please let me know. I wish I could do that too.
Right now, I have a friend (straight man) who's coaching my demand-skills. Number 1) Act like you're just going in to have a conversation. They are not better than you, they want you, not the other way around. Number 2) Don't be afraid to ask for more than you want, or you think you will get, worse that can happen is they say no and offer what they are willing to give, it still might be higher than what you would have accepted. Excellent so now that I'm armed with these two pieces of advice I'm still shaking in my boots... or in my case my really cute sneakers.
To add to my stress level, Christmas is two weeks away and I haven't bought one present. I have three things I need to pay for in the coming month, 1) rent for january, 2) London (the 27th to the 6th), and 3) Christmas. Now I know that I'm not poor, but I'm not rich either. So everyone's getting arts and crafts for their gifts. It's the thought that counts right?
And probably a stress inducer that I'm not really allowing myself to think about is that my brother gets home from infantry school on the 20th and on the 3rd will be flown to Hawaii to his first duty station, where he will be for the next few years (if he isn't sent to Iraq). Basically I think that Christmas will be the last time I see him before he goes to Hawaii and then Iraq.
In the end, the point is that when I stress out I take it out on everyone else and really hate when people try to help. Mostly when my girlfriend tries to help. Do straight couples have this problem? Not the stressed out, take it out on each other problem, but the "you make more money than I do and that really bothers me" problem. This may feel like it came out of left field and knowing me it probably did, but I really think they are all tied in together: money stresses me out, not having money stresses me out more, not having money when things need to be paid really stresses me out, and then add Christmas! Forget about it, it's over.
Back to the issue at hand: My girlfriend makes more money than I do, and most of the time it doesn't bother me, but when a lot of expenses are coming in and I'm having a hard time keeping my head above water, its really hard for me to watch her direct her yacht. And worse even is when she invites me onto it! I end up feeling like I owe her, like she is the reason I'm making it, and that without her I would have drowned. I am a very independent person, and a very strong willed person. I don't like to depend on my girlfriend for anything, especially not money. But I watch straight couples and it seems that it's almost expected. If you are the boyfriend, you will pay for things, and if you are the girlfriend, you will like it. I completely understand and if the couple is happy with that arrangement than more power to them, but if it were me.... I would feel like something was being taken away from me, because I was not contributing half to expenses. How do straight girls do it? How do they feel ok letting someone else take care of them financially and emotionally? I think it's fantastic and if any straight girl is reading this and wants to teach me how, please please let me know. I wish I could do that too.
posted by Ramblin' Yank at
11:22 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home